What Truly Matters
by Kukiko-Rei
Summary: Lee. Dejected and obsessed with attaining beauty and looks. Gaara. Sociopath and distant. How will a sociopath teach Lee what truly matters? Gaara/Lee
1. Introduction

I know, I am embarking on a new story and yet, I have not finished my other works. To be honest, I hate my other works. Hopefully, this will make my insecurites go away about my writing abilities. If you haven't noticed, I don't hate Lee but I really dislike Sakura. If she had brown hair and blue eyes and a more gloomier personality, then I will like her...maybe. Anyways, this is GaaLee. I hope you enjoy it!

Read the summary if you do not know the plot!

What Truly Matters Prologue

_Flashback_

_''Sakura-san! I will protect you with all my life, please accept my request to take you out on a date!'' Lee said, showing his white, glistening teeth and holding his thumb up. On the outside, he was brimming with confidence but yet on the inside, he was silently hoping for her to accept. On the other hand, Sakura had to gather all of her guts not to throw up at his words. Just looking at his bowl haircut was already unpleasant to the eye. Sakura scoffed and shifted her stance into a arrogant one._

_''Let me get this straight, Lee. I don't like you. Hell, your looks are not even as good as Shino. Not even Shino. You creep me out with your frequent outbursts of youth and for your informaton, I hate spandex. Even now, I just want to walk away from you. Be glad that I am even willing to talk to you at times. You are just ugly, you know that?'' She said haughtily, before flipping her hair over her shoulders and prancing away from the dejected boy._

_Flashback End_

''Ugly...'' Lee whispered softly to no one as he stared at his own reflection in a puddle. The pink-haired girl's words kept ringing in his ears and he clamped his hands over his ears, eyes glued shut in an attempt to block her invading words.

Now, his ego has been deflated. Since young, he has always been an outcast in every way. He was practically powerless. He had chakra, yes. But he was unable to do any special ninja techniques so he practised hard to master several arts of taijutsu. He thought that as he mastered them, people would respect him, notice him and if by any chance, admire him. The insecurities kept coming though, especially since now in Konoha, it seemed that everything was based on looks.

Now, he even has to experienced the pain of the girl that loved and respected hankering after the love of Uchiha Sasuke. Unfortunately though, the physically attractive had a secret love, which the girls will never expect. He knew, since he walked in on them making out once. Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. It came as a huge shock at first, but he got over it. After all, they were his friends and they were so much more attractive than he was. How could he even try to object to their relationship since he was so ugly?

Lee sighed, a sad sigh that was.

''When will my time come? All I hope for...is just for someone to really notice me.'' He played with a stone with the tip of his finger and stared at his reflection again. He reached up to touch his face. The mirror copy of him in the puddle mimicked his actions.

Feminine looking eyes. Bowl haircut. Green spandex suit.

He hated his looks. He hated his appearance. Why did he have to be so ugly.

'Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. You are a ugly boy.' Voices in his head chanted, teasing him and agitating him so much he threw a stone ,which had come to be held in his hand, in a random direction.

If only I could be beautiful.


	2. Poppy Surprise

Thanks for the reviews, guys! It really means a lot and I thought that there will not be anyone commenting on this story. It may take a bit of time to completely write out a story. And no, I do not hate Lee. He happens to be in my top ten favourites. But this is just a story, don't get offended man. This story is based on a form of mental disorder. Can you guess what it is? So, yeah a girl really loves her mental issues. Enjoy, if you need a chat, feel free to private message me. I am free anyways. Yes, the prologue is pretty short. But hey, that is the whole point, isn't it?

What Truly Matters Chapter Two

_A perfect human being: Man in search of his ideal of perfection. Nothing less._

_-Pir Vilayat Khan_

_Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything._

_-Gustave Flaubert_

_Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it._

_-Confucius_

_The perception of beauty is a moral test._

_-Henry David Thoreau_

_Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time._

_-Albert Camus_

''He is so beautiful.'' Lee said, flipping through the pages of a men's fashion magazine he had bought earlier. He was just browsing through the various aisles when he did not realise that he was looking at the skincare products. Before he even knew, he had bought about a week's worth of skincare products, makeup, a pair of tweezers and the magazine. He ripped out a page in the magazine and pasted it onto the wall. The picture of a male model.

''I will become like him. I will. Then maybe I will not be ugly anymore.'' Lee had said, his goal of becoming the best ninja he could be lay forgotten in the depths of his mind.

He looked into the mirror. Maybe he could get some tweezers to thin his eyebrows. He should use some of those skincare products to moisturise his dried skin. He could do something about those scars he received from fights with challengers. He could also do something about his jumpsuit and maybe, even his weight.

Lee nodded to himself. Anything to be perfect.

He wrapped his arms around himself. He felt so fat, as if the jumpsuit was going to burst open and reveal his flabby arms and stomach. He could feel the scars on his face increasing and marring his already ugly face. Trying his best to keep his mentality safe from the taunting thoughts of killing himself and his ugliness, he stood up and stared at the picture again.

Perhaps tomorrow he should not show up for training practice. He could use that time to groom himself and when he came back, he would be perfect.

Besides, Neji was there. Neji always teased him. He could never defeat Neji in anything. A deadlast, he would call him. Of course, Neji was a genius in every way. With his Byakugan, he could see enemies from a distance and warn the team. He was graceful too and his Taijutsu was powerful. He had knowledge over a vast amount of techniques. The powerful techniques were never used on Lee. They were only reserved for powerful enemies. Apparently, Lee was just a cockroach that he could just step on and kill if he was not careful. Neji had said so himself. Neji's daily taunts only add on to his insecurities.

His other teammate, Tenten always did nothing to stop Neji. She would either egg him on or keep quiet, watching the situation from the sidelines. It was blatantly obvious that the girl haboured some form of affection towards Neji.

Lee was not blind to see that and yet a genius like Neji could never see that. Either he was ignorant or he was still hoping for the heavens to decide what his destiny would be.

As for Gai-sensei, he was always there for him since his ninja academy days. But, lately, Lee felt as if Gai was just pitying him then and when he had gained confidence in himself, he would slowly break away from Lee's life and not care about him again.

Lee chuckled. Perhaps the day when he truly obtains confidence is after he kills himself. That is when he will see if anyone even bothers to come to his funeral and even if they do not, he will be more confident because he will not be alive anymore. Not being alive anymore and not allowing problems to pile up.

''To be perfect. I have to be.''

This goal would keep him alive and he would strive to achieve it.

**The Next Day**

Lee woke up, feeling refreshed and full of energy. Today, it would mark the start of his plan. He went into the bathroom and picked up the tweezers. It was nerve-wrecking. With thinner eyebrows, he would be more attractive. A small smile appeared but then a frown destroyed it. Even if he fixed his eyebrows, there were so many things he had to fix.

Slowly, he began to pluck his eyebrows. It stung and it hurt. But then again, no pain, no gain. Anything to attain true perfection.

Suddenly, there was a long crash from below and it startled him, his grasp onto the tweezers tightened and he moved his hand.

Wrong move.

The sharp end of the tweezers dragged along his eyebrows to the side of his forehead. Lee's eyes widened. The blood trickled down his head. The red streams.

It stained his skin. It made him uglier.

He saw his image in the mirror. One of his eyebrows were half plucked and drenched in red.

In the mirror, the copy of him started to distort and that was when he realised the way he truly looked. A large jaw, a crooked nose, a twisted lip. His eyes resembled like silts to him and his hair was so thick, so thick. He whimpered and clutched his head. His tears blended together with the blood which still ran down his face.

''I can't...I don't know anymore...''

It was so damn confusing. What do he do now?

**?'s Point of View**

Konoha was boring. Everything was boring. There was practically no thrill in this whole village. It might as well be burnt down.

Bustling streets.

The sounds of _happy_ children playing and running around.

The mindless chattering of females.

The whistling of lecherous males to attract them.

How vile. How revolting. I barely want to call myself a _human_ . Yet it was such a pity that I am one. Well, close to one anyway.

I sighed. Loudly. A kid who was running around stopped and went to approach the place where I was hiding - a tree. Apparently, the ears of a young child was sharper than the ears of adults. I growled as he picked a stone up and threw it at me. Annoying twat.

I cancelled the Tree Climbing technique and landed gracefully onto the ground. I then proceeded to execute one of my personal favorite techniques - the death glare. No chakra, no hand seals. It was still one of my most deadly weapons and it was the most effective against annoying brats like him.

I almost wanted to laugh at the pathetic child. I could hear his heart rate increase and the fear in his eyes was just lovely. I just savoured the enjoyable moment (which was unfortunately only enjoyable to me seeing how the kid was about to pee in his pants) and waited patiently for what was going to follow. Of course, I was not anticipating anything. Perhaps a sudden option of suicide? No, I was just not expecting anything

''Mum! A scary guy!'' The kid ran away, screaming at the top of his lungs. Curious eyes watched the boy push through the crowds in search of his mother. Now, that was something I did not expect.

''Hmph, mother huh? One day, you will be hated by her anyway.'' I walked away, walking through the busy streets. I looked around. I have never seen such things in my life. There were stalls which sold sweets and games. In Suna, it seemed that the only thing that can be done there is to build many sandcastles to keep myself entertained.

I wanted to scoff though. The happiness in their faces. Why do they get to experience such meaningless emotions? Emotions will only get in their way for success. That is what I believe in. The things that I hate are many. Especially the L word. Love. Pointless and disgusting. Existing for the sole sake to torture those who have not received it.

''Excuse me, young man.''

A hand settled itself comfortably on my shoulder. I turned around and an elderly woman smiled back at me. I could only respond with an annoyed stare. Strangely, Shukaku did not stop her. The lazy idiot claimed that she was of no threat so why was she holding out a flower to me in her other hand? It could be some sort of a hidden jutsu that I have not heard of.

I eyed her warily and I took a step back and she allowed her hand to fall back to her side. She held out the flower to me and smiled. When I refused to take it, she slipped it inside the pocket at my side.

**'Relax, boy. The flower is of no harm. Haha, I cannot believe it. The stoic guy who has killed numerous enemies and people, is afraid of a flower! Aren't you such a pansy? Haha!'' Shukaku laughed. It boomed in his head.**

Gaara ignored his comment and took out the flower.

''That is a Poppy. Quite a beauty, isn't it? There is a meaning for every poppy means consolation and looking at you, you definitely need some consolation, dear. By holding this poppy, it is said that a feeling of comfort and security will wash over you immediately '' The elderly woman gave him one last look before hobbling away with a stick as her support.

He stared at the hunched back of the woman as she walked away and looked back at the flower again.

Consolation? Does he look like he even needs to be consoled? Someone should have done that six years ago when he turned six.

His eyes narrowed. It has been twelve years and he was still alive. Memories burned in his head. The horrible memories.

Just then, a familiar smell reached his sensitive nose.

He had caught a whiff of blood. The one and only liquid which the beast within him yearned and lusted after. He made a hand seal and a huge ball of sand engulfed him and teleported him to the source of the blood.

He reached the area but not without feeling the aftereffects of teleporting using sand. It always made him feel like he was choking on a hairball, being unable to breathe carefully. His oxygen-deprived brain would then make him suffer from a tremendous headache and impaired sense of balance.

Once he has recovered from the temporary effects, he traveled upwards using the sand to the window at the second level.

Strange, the bedroom was empty.

He had a very short limit gauge when it came so patience and so without looking further, he gave up. Though the scent of blood was still strong.

Gaara was about to go down when he heard sobbing and whimpering. He scanned the room again and there it was - the bathroom. The sounds were coming from there and so was the scent of blood. He covered his left eye with his finger.

''Third Eye Jutsu.'' The sand was collected onto his hand and it merged together to form an eyeball. Gaara clamped his hand and the tiny particles of sand flew into the room through the tiny opening beneath the window.

Inside the bathroom, the sand merged together again and Gaara was able to see what was happening through the sand.

''The optic nerves are now connected.''

**Lee's POV**

Ugliness...Beauty...Perfection...

Those three words were the only things that I thought about since she rejected me. The blood still ran down my head. I wanted to just scrub it away, scrub my ugliness away but I am still very much aware that it would only worsen the condition.

Ouch. I flinched as something hit me in the eye. It felt like...sand? The thought of sand makes me slightly anxious than before.

It reminded me of that creepy redhead from the Sand V**illage**. Yes, he was physically attractive. His eyes were a pretty teal green with black eyeliner around them. He loved the hair the most, a fiery red. But if not for the fact that he was a guy and that he was basically a sociopath who has killed people, he would have fallen for him.

''I should...probably wash my face.'' He went to the sink, still unaware of the floating eyeball behind him.

Wash away the blood...and all those thoughts...hopefully.

**?'s POV**

Oh, so this house belongs to that guy in the bowl haircut.

The first time he met him, he had rambled non-stop about defeating him with some sort of youth power or something. Fortunately, before his ears could be permanently damaged by his continuous rambling, he went into a deep daze, into the world he had created in his mind.

A wonderous land where he was surrounded by people for him to kill.

Blood was were all dead. It made him happier then. But now, the guy that he saw seemed so...different. He could not describe why but he was more different.

_''There is a meaning for every poppy means consolation''_

The old woman's words repeated themself in their head suddenly.

Consolation, huh?

He stared at the flower which he had held onto tightly. The reason why, he did not know. The petals were slightly wrinkled now.

With no control over the sand, the sand, which formed the shape of a han, had snatched the flower away and sneaked into the bedroom.

The empty bed now had a crumpled flower in its place.

How-? Shukaku!

**''Hey , I was doing you a favor, kid. Just admit it, you just want to give him that stinking flower.'' **

Gaara could sense the smirk in his voice. Whatever. When he heard the sound of a door opening, he quickly reacted in time and teleported away without anyone noticing.

**Lee's POV**

The wound still stung but I could care less. If it gets infected, I will just go to the hospital anyway. Maybe I can ask about plastic surgery. I mean, technology is advanced now...

I approached my bed and sat down on it, only to jump up slightly at the feeling of something pressing against my butt.

A flower? No, a poppy, I think. I had been in the flower shop before. That Yamanaka girl. She recommended me these. I think she mentioned that it meant something like comfort or something. He could not remember.

Why were there grains of sand on it?

Oh well, whoever sent him this flower, it was enough to bring the slightest hint of hope in him. That he was not who as he thought he was.

**End Of Chapter One**

Okay, yeah. There is still more to write about and if you have any ideas you want to see in this, comment then. I hope this is satisfying. Well, what do you think, I want to know. If you have any constructive advice or criticism you want to pass to me, tell me too. And please don't say that I am bashing on Lee. I ain't , just that I needed an interesting plot and a suitable couple for this. Lee has to be the uke .

Signing off,

KukikoRIPeace


End file.
